There are many myths related to adoption. Oftentimes, people are thinking of the adoption procedure in general, how much it costs, how long the process lasts, and how couples know that the adoption is the right choice for them.
Instead of these technicalities, we should focus more on understanding the struggles and feelings adoptees have. They are usually frightened that their feeling will not be understood or validated, and because of that, it is very important to learn more about the things that bother them.
Adoptees Need Their Adoptive Parents to Prepare Before Bringing Them Home
It is very helpful when parents are prepared emotionally and physically before adopting. Adoption is not a substitute for having a biological child, but it is one of many ways to make a family.
When parents educate themselves on relevant issues regarding adoption and seek support when necessary, adoptive families benefit.
Don’t be afraid to start visiting a family therapist who can help you prepare for bringing an adoptee home, as well as to overcome the challenges and issues that will follow.
Birthdays Can Be Difficult
This applies to Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, too. These days might be especially difficult for adoptees because they can stir up the memory of the separation, and for some reason, that feeling might stay strong even when the adoptees grow older.
Parents should be emphatic, and try to cheer up the kids, but at the same time, it is important to try to understand their feelings and not to ignore them.
Some Adoptees Want to Meet their Birth Parents – Some Don’t
In order to find closure, and close the circle of mixed feelings, some adoptees need to find their birth parents. Some wish to create a relationship with their birth parents, while others don’t, and adoptive parents should support them no matter what they decide.
Keep in mind that the adoptee’s desire to search does not mean a rejection of the adoptive parents.
Family Medical History Can Be a Complicated Topic
Many adoptees don’t know about their medical history, and when asked about it, they have to explain the entire situation. This can make visits to a doctor more stressful, and finding diagnosis more complicated. Because of that, it is important to show them that there is nothing to be ashamed of and that they should speak freely about their adoption, and visit the doctor regularly.
Adoption is Hard
Being separated from birth parents as a child is a traumatic experience. All of those familiar sounds and sights are gone, and the child is placed in a situation where everything is new and unfamiliar. The only part of the brain that is completely developed at birth is the brain stem that regulates the sympathetic nervous system (the fight, flight or freeze response). The parasympathetic ability to self-soothe isn’t available, and the babies need their familiar mom to help with self-regulation, and since she is not there, that is very scary for the child.
Adoption is A Lifelong Process
It is a process with many joyful moments and happy memories. But, at the same time, it is also a process of challenges and changes that can deepen the family connection and build strength. If you experience the new challenges that you cannot confront by yourself, it is important to seek help whether you are an adoptee or adoptive parent.
Whether you need individual or group therapy, the doors of From 2 to 3 Sydney family counselling are wide open for you. We will help you through the transitional period and help you understand each other’s needs better, learn how to communicate and build positive communication, openness, and honesty within the family.