Love is one of the most beautiful parts of the human experience, but even those in the most committed, loving relationships have to work at it. No matter what stage you’re at in your relationship, learning more about yourself and what you need most from a partner – also known as your “love language” – is one of the best things you can do to maintain and strengthen your bond. Even if you’re currently single, understanding your primary love language is key to getting the best out of dating and developing new connections.
So, are you giving and receiving love in the way that is most meaningful to you right now? Let’s explore the five love languages and find out.
Acts of Service
It’s hard not to like people who go out of their way to make your life easier, especially if your primary love language is acts of service. People who prefer this love language generally believe in showing rather than telling when it comes to expressing love, so while you might not feel inclined to tell your partner you love them all the time, you’ll jump at the chance to show them.
If this is your partner’s love language, you’ll notice that they really appreciate all the little things you do for them, like cooking dinner, walking the dog, or cleaning the house before they get home from work.
Enjoying the time you spend with your partner is one of the biggest clues that you’re in a happy relationship, but it’s also a love language in itself. If you have strong listening skills, love spending time with others, and would rather go on a trip with your partner than receive an expensive gift, these are all signs that quality time is your preferred mode of communication.
If this is your partner’s love language, they’ll probably seem most fulfilled when you’re in the middle of a deep conversation, enjoying a regular date night dinner, or just hanging around the house together – anything that marks the beginning of amazing memories.
People who prefer gifts may be seen as materialistic, but the truth is that this love language goes much deeper than the things you give or receive. At its core, this love language is about creating physical anchors for memories – things that will remind your partner of how much you care for them and how often they are on your mind.
If this is your partner’s love language (or you think it might be), take the next opportunity to get them something small, yet meaningful, write a note, and leave it for them to find. The best part will be seeing their reaction!
Words of Affirmation
If you have ever written a love letter or a song for your partner, there’s a good chance that your love language is words of affirmation. You want to show your partner that you love them in words, which is a beautiful thing. People who favour this love language are very communicative and have little trouble verbalising their feelings.
If this is your partner’s love language, take every opportunity to verbalise your love for them. Tell them that you love them, value them, and feel proud of them, and they won’t be able to get enough.
We all want to be close to our partners, but for some of us, physical touch is the most important part of a romantic relationship. It might look different from day to day, whether you feel like cuddling or holding hands, but the result is much the same. Physical expressions of love like cuddling, holding hands, and having sex release oxytocin, a bonding hormone with addictive qualities.
If this is your partner’s love language, the best way to grow closer as a couple is to get closer in the moment. Hold their hand, put your arm around their waist, and let them know exactly how you feel.
Understanding the five love languages can give you a major advantage when it comes to your own happiness and the quality of your relationships with others. Need more direction to enhance your relationship with your partner?
If you’re interested in learning more or booking a counselling session, let’s talk before it breaks.