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You may be adjusting to a new baby, dealing with sibling rivalry, or you may be an old pro at raising kids. You’ve probably developed a routine to cope, but you feel as if everything is going ‘off track’. Are you experiencing one or more of the following?
Perhaps your partner parents your child differently from the way you do and that is causing friction between the two of you. Whatever the case, you need strategies that help the two of you find an agreement or compromise as to how you will parent together to survive this stage and allow your relationship to thrive. Let’s talk before it breaks.
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Looking after your baby is a 24/7 job and there have been many days where you never left the house, had a shower or managed to get out of your pyjamas. You’ve become a feeding, changing, washing, soothing machine and it feels as if you have no time for yourself. Of course, there are many wonderful moments of parenting, but it can be frustrating when your partner comes home from work and implies that you have been doing ‘nothing’ all day. This isn’t good for you, your confidence or the relationship. Let’s talk before it breaks.
Both parents have a job to do – care for the baby and/or go to work to provide for the family. Some couples balance this so they do an equal share of both.
Whatever your solution, it is common for both new parents to put their heads down, do their respective jobs and focus on their roles to the detriment of the relationship. It feels as if the job or the child takes priority in terms of your time, focus and attention, and as a result, the relationship comes last.
What’s more, each of you can start to believe you are the one doing all the work – and feelings of resentment can start to grow. Let’s talk before it breaks.
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All parents expect that their sleep will be interrupted by a baby – however, most of us are taken by surprise when we’re still struggling to get enough rest even when your child is one, two or even three years old! The addition of a new sibling can also disrupt older children’s sleep patterns, causing sleep regressions and worsening parents’ sleep deprivation.
Lack of sleep affects every aspect of our lives – our physical and mental health, our ability to cope with stress, our problem-solving capabilities and our communication skills – not to mention patience.
This can quickly snowball into a situation where you and your partner feel exhausted, resentful and guilty – and your relationship starts to sail into troubled waters. This needs to be dealt with fast. Let’s talk before it breaks.
Whether it’s one spouse taking on the burden of earning the family income, or both parents juggling work and childcare, keeping your family financially stable can be a stressful situation – especially when costs constantly seem to keep going up.
A child brings a whole new range of complications into a couple’s financial situation – whether it’s a drop in total income, a loss of financial independence for a main carer, an increase in household costs and demands, or curtailing spending.
Accepting these changes to your family’s lifestyle can be difficult, and often requires a change in perspective from one or both parents; to make it even harder financial conversations can be amongst the most emotionally charged of all. It’s natural to yearn for life’s luxuries, but if you don’t balance the books, financial issues can quickly lead to arguments, major monetary strife or major relationship issues. Let’s talk before it breaks.
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Pregnancy, birth and childrearing causes the biggest changes to happen to your body since puberty. While this might be acceptable while your child is young – still breastfeeding, for example – it can become problematic when your body doesn’t go back to ‘normal’.
You may not have expected your body to snap back to peak fitness like a Hollywood starlet’s, but if those post-birth changes stubbornly resist any and all attempts to reform them, your self-confidence and self-esteem can take a major hit. Add to this the difficulty of finding time and energy to exercise, or reduced intimacy with your partner, and your relationship can easily become a rocky one. Let’s talk before it breaks.
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ginny@from2to3.com.au
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From 2 to 3, a relationship and marriage counselling Sydney practice established by Ginny Lindsay who is also its Principal Therapist, has been providing help to individuals and couples in life-changing situations that may disturb communication between partners.
