When I see clients in my relationship counselling practice, a common theme is that there is no “me time” and no “us time” or couple time. The reality is that no one will give you more time, so perhaps you need to look at your priorities, the things that matter most to you.
Inevitably I find people devoting time to things that are not even on their priority list. If your relationship is important, then you need to allocate time to it. Also the time that you spend together needs to be quality not where you both sit in front of the TV or sit next to each other while browsing on your phones.
Many things can get in the way of connecting as a couple. For example, business travel, commuting to and from work, catching up with friends and family, schedules and mismatch of energy levels between you and your partner. The key is to block out time in your diary to connect as a couple, making it as important as those work meetings or doctor’s appointments.
Think about what you enjoyed doing in the early phases of your relationship – sitting in coffee shops, long walks on the beach, working on creative projects together, trying something new. Couples who learn a new skill together, not only feel the enjoyment of something new, but they get to create new memories together. They also gain experience in supporting each other through this learning process.
Don’t let anxiety about leaving your child with a family member or babysitter get in the way of couple time. As little as a 3-4 hours in your week, spent connecting with your partner, can make the biggest difference in your relationship.
If you need further support at this time of year than please contact me to book a session before Christmas, where I can support either you as an individual or through couples counselling. Getting in early and learning to work as a team can really make a positive difference to your relationship.
