Have you ever thought you knew exactly what your partner was feeling, only to discover you were completely off? Assuming you can read your partner’s mind is a common trap that often leads relationships down the wrong path. Instead of helping, these assumptions can cause misunderstandings, emotional distance and break down the trust that holds couples together.
It’s like taking the wrong exit on a roundabout. Confusing, frustrating and it can leave both people feeling lost.
Why Assumptions Cause Problems
Our brains are wired to fill in gaps quickly. When we don’t have full information, we tend to default to familiar stories and past experiences rather than checking in. This shortcut may feel natural but usually ends up causing conflict or confusion. Assuming what your partner feels or thinks creates different versions of the same event, which can lead to defensiveness and emotional disconnection.
Over time, these repeated misunderstandings add up. What might start as a small misinterpretation can grow into doubt or resentment. Without clear communication, emotional safety begins to erode and the relationship suffers.
Emotional Safety & Clear Communication
Emotional safety means feeling free to be honest, vulnerable and yourself without fear of judgment or criticism. It is essential for trust and closeness but assumptions get in the way, as they replace curiosity with guesswork. When assumptions take over, partners may stop sharing their true feelings or stop listening deeply.
This lack of openness weakens connection and creates barriers. One or both people can end up feeling unseen or misunderstood, which makes it harder to solve problems together.
How Curiosity Helps Build Trust
The solution to assuming is to prioritise curiosity. Instead of silently guessing, check in with your partner. Say something like, “I just want to check something out” to invite conversation. This simple habit helps clear up confusion and prevents small misunderstandings from turning into conflict.
Curiosity opens the door to empathy and understanding. It shows your partner that their feelings matter and that you want to get things right. Over time, this builds a sense of emotional safety where both people feel heard and respected.
Developing a Habit of Checking In
Checking in is not about overthinking every little thing but about catching yourself before assumptions take hold. When you notice uncertainty, pause and ask rather than jump to conclusions. This approach reduces defensiveness and strengthens the trust between you.
It’s these small moments of connection that help relationships stay resilient through challenges and uncertainty.
Trust Grows When Assumptions Fade
Relationships thrive on connection, especially when things get tricky. Mind reading doesn’t work because no one can truly know another person’s inner world without asking. By choosing curiosity, couples avoid taking wrong turns and instead stay on track together.
Shifting from assumption to curiosity helps couples build trust and emotional clarity. If you want to strengthen your relationship and create a safe space where both people feel understood, start by checking things out instead of guessing.
Ginny at From 2 to 3 helps couples across Australia replace assumptions with clear communication and emotional safety. To rebuild trust and deepen your connection, reach out to From 2 to 3 and take the first step toward honest, open conversations.