An important part of every healthy relationship is communication. Many people experienced a lack of communication in their relationships, and this is one of the reasons why they start feeling distant and isolated.
Communication, at its core, is about connecting by using verbal, written and physical skills to fulfill your partner’s needs. It is not about making small talk, it is about understanding, offering support, and letting your partner know they can completely rely on you.
Poor communication skills, disagreements, and misunderstandings can be a source of anger, but if you learn how to communicate better, it can be a springboard to a stronger relationship and a happier future.
These tips will help you improve communication in your relationship. Let us start.
1. Talk Face to Face
Avoid talking about serious issues or matters in writing, Emails, text messages, or letters can be misinterpreted and cause even more problems. Talk in person to avoid unnecessary miscommunications. If you want to be sure that you will be able to say everything you want, try collecting your thoughts on paper and read them out loud to your partner.
2. Stay Focused
Some people cannot resist bringing up past conflicts and relating them to the current ones. Even if it feels relevant to address everything that bothers you at once, it is important to stay focused on the present, your feelings, understanding one another and finding a solution.
3. Do Not Attack
Even when we mean well, a wrong word choice can make us look like we are attacking, which will instantly make your partner defensive and less receptive to your message. Avoid using “You”, and try with “I” or “We” like “I feel we are more and more distant.” instead of “You have been distant with me lately.”
4. Listen Carefully
Even if you think that you are listening, you are probably thinking what will you say next when your partner stops talking. Truly effective communication goes both ways, and you will need to listen to what your partner has to say. Don’t interrupt or get defensive, just hear them and then you will understand them better.
5. Be Honest
Sometimes the truth hurts, but it is essential for a healthy relationship. Agree with your partner to be honest, and that will help you admit you are not always perfect which will make you apologize easier when making a mistake, instead of making excuses. You will both feel better, and that will make your relationship stronger.
6. Don’t Give Up
Taking a break from a discussion is sometimes a good idea, especially if one of you is angry and hypersensitive at the moment. However, you should always come back to it. If you both approach the conversation with respect and willingness to see the other person’s point of view, you can make progress and resolve the conflict.
7. Find the Right Moment
If something is bothering you, you should talk about it with your partner, but you should pick the right moment. Try to find the time when you are not stressed or in a rush, because that can only make things worse. If you are both too busy, try scheduling a talk.
8. Ask For Relationship and Marriage Counseling When You Need It
If you have tried these tips, but one or both of you still have troubles staying respectful during a conflict, or you have tried resolving the issues on your own, but the situation is still the same, don’t hesitate to contact me and start your relationship and marriage counseling.
You can call or send an email to ginny@from2to3.com.au or just call From 2 to 3 Relationship and Marriage Counselling, so we can set an appointment to discuss more your communication problems. We will work together and you will learn the skills to resolve future conflicts easier.
