Arguing with your partner is a normal thing, but sometimes it can be destructive for your relationship, especially if this is something that happens frequently. While some couples can resolve problems by make-up sex after the argument, the other ones will leave “the ring” bitter, angry, and resentful.
It is important to learn how to keep the peace and to be able to know when is the time to re-evaluate your relationship with the help of a professional therapist.
Here are some of the best practices for smoothing things over.
- Look For The Root Of The Problem
If you don’t find what is causing the problem, it will continue to pulse until it explodes and make a major issue between you and your partner. This means that you will continue to argue about the same things over and over again, and that will only deepen the gap between the two of you. So, first of all, try to find the source of your problem.
- Take a Break
This might be hard to do, but if you are able to take even a thirty seconds break during an argument this will help you a lot. A break is like a reset button, and the best is that you and your partner leave the room and reconnect when you both feel a bit calmer. This will also prevent you from saying things you don’t actually mean, and to help you focus on the real problem and find the best way to resolve it.
- Deal With The Problem When You Come Back
Once you have calmed down, you will be able to approach the problem rationally and take a collaborative approach. This will help you both understand the other’s point of view and express your concerns. A collaborative discussion will open a path for moving forward.
- Be Honest
When both of you have calmed down and started a constructive discussion about your problem, it is crucial, to be honest with each other. Communication is a foundation of every healthy relationship, and you will never move forward if you are lying to your partner and yourself. The habit of being dishonest will only lead to more relationship problems.
- Don’t Hold Onto To The Past
One of the most common reasons why couples are arguing is because they simply cannot stop dwelling on the past. No matter if it is about past mistakes, feelings or actions, that’s something that is already gone and should be left behind. Stop yourself from bringing up the problems you have already resolved years ago because that will only frustrate you and you will never be able to move forward.
- Allow Each Other Some Space
Some people find it hard to believe that the distance is sometimes making the heart grow fonder, but in this case, it is true. A personal space will allow both – you and your partner to think and remind yourself how much you love each other and that your feeling should be the priority of your relationship, not your pride.
Couples Counselling Can Help You Make Up
Watching a movie, a weekend getaway, cuddling or makeup sex are just some of the ways to end an argument on a happy note. Of course, before this, you should have a healthy discussion about your issues because if you skip it, some of these makeup options can actually become a destructive habit.
If you have tried all of the above-listed practices and the arguments between you and your partner are still happening too often, maybe it is time to visit Ginny Lindsay, a leading therapist at From 2 to 3, Sydney couples counselling. Hopefully, she will help you overcome all the issues and grow as a couple.