As a relationship and couples counsellor, I hear lots of opinions about relationship counselling and most of them are untrue! These opinions are usually informed by depictions of counselling and therapy shown in film or television, or bad news stories told when a relationship ends. The reality is many people seek relationship counselling and you would never hear about it. Relationship counselling can help a relationship get back on track so that it never becomes a topic of complaint with your friends. I’m passionate about relationship counselling and all the positive changes I have seen couples make in their relationships so I wanted to dispel some of the common myths about relationship counselling.
Myth 1: My relationship is not bad enough to see a relationship counsellor
According to relationship and marriage expert John Gottman, couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy before getting help. The best time to see a relationship counsellor is before it gets bad! Getting in early when you are just starting to have some issues communicating or you are juggling a busy challenging family life is best! My motto at From 2 to 3 is “Let’s talk before it breaks” for this reason.
Myth 2: Only crazy people see a counsellor
A wide range of people see counsellors. Most of my clients are healthy, successful people who come to see a relationship counsellor to work through a specific problem or set of concerns. They may have depression or anxiety which are common concerns that can improve with counselling. Approximately 20% of the population are dealing with depression and/or anxiety, it is a common problem for many people and it doesn’t mean you are crazy.
Myth 3: A relationship counsellor will take sides.
A professional relationship or couples counsellor remains neutral and helps the two of you resolve your differences. A non-judgemental, impartial approach is what you can expect from your relationship counsellor. Both of you should feel that your perspective has been heard, validated and understood at the end of each session.
Myth 4: Relationship counselling takes years.
While there is no time limit on therapy and some approaches can last for a year or more, short term therapy, which generally lasts between eight and twenty sessions can be very helpful for couples. If a problem in your relationship has been going on for years, then it can take time to work through it but usually you will start to feel better and notice an improvement in the first few sessions.
Myth 5: I’m a weak person if I see a counsellor
It takes more courage, strength and determination to see a counsellor, than it does to do nothing. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and opening yourself up to share your innermost feelings can be scary, so that kind of bravery is anything but weak.
Don’t believe the myths and don’t allow your relationship to become another statistic. If you are feeling unhappy in your relationship, then there is effective professional relationship counselling support available. Contact me now to find out how I can support you to get your relationship back on track. Let’s talk before it breaks.
