On the one hand, cheating is a dirty business, but on the other, it is very exciting, and some people think that cheap thrills and memories are worth risking. Whether it has happened to you or someone you know, you probably wonder – why people cheat?
Of course, knowing the reasons why people cheat, cannot erase an affair, but it can help you better understand the situation you or someone close to you is in. We will share with you some of the most common factors that make people cheat.
Although you might think that lack of sex is the primary reason why people cheat, it is not. Actually, it’s more about the lack of self-esteem. Many people simply want to boost their self-esteem, and having sex with a new person seems like a good choice because it leads to positive feelings. They feel more confident, empowered and attractive.
Most of the people who are cheating because of the lack of self-esteem have loving and supportive partners who offer compassion. They think their partners are supporting and encouraging them just because they don’t want them to feel bad, and receiving admiration from someone new can be exciting and give the adulterer a confirmation of their value that they so desperately need.
Sometimes unmet sexual desire can motivate someone to cheat, but it can also be an increased need for sex that can cause infidelity. Even people with sexually fulfilled relationship might want to have sex with people outside of the relationship.
There doesn’t have to be any sexual issues, simply a high level of sexual desire can be a key factor for cheating.
Love Is Gone
When you fall in love with someone, the butterflies in your stomach don’t last forever. In the beginning, you will probably experience passion, happiness and excitement whenever he/she texts you or kisses you.
But these feelings fade over time, and only true, stable love remains. Once the glitter is gone, you might realize that love simply isn’t there, or perhaps you might find out that you are in love with someone else.
Losing that initial spark doesn’t mean that you and your partner don’t love each other, and it can be hard to leave a relationship that still provides a sense of stability, family or friendship. However, staying in a relationship without romantic love involved may lead to a desire to experience that rush of love again with someone else.
Fear of Commitment
Commitment doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone, and people who have a hard time committing to a partner may be more likely to cheat. It is not unusual that two people in a relationship have different ideas about the state of their commitment. One of the partners might consider it as something casual, while the other party thinks it is exclusive.
There can also be a lack of interest in committing long-term, one of the partners could be looking for a more casual relationship, or seeking a way out. All of these factors can motivate a person to dive into an affair.
Needs Are Not Met
Whether partners have different sex drives or they spent too much time apart, problems will start to arise. Despite these unmet needs, many people choose to stay in the relationship, hoping that things will improve.
Over time, unmet needs can lead to frustration, and get worse if there are no improvements. This can also lead to sexual as well as emotional infidelity when one of the partners starting to invest a lot of emotional energy into someone who is not their partner.
There is a common phrase that describes people who are not faithful, and you have probably heard of it – “Once a cheater, always a cheater”. But, it is not quite correct since some people cheat repeatedly, while others don’t.
Working things out after the infidelity can strengthen a relationship, but you and your partner might find it hard to deal with it on your own. That is why we suggest you contact From 2 to 3 Sydney relationship counselling and schedule a meeting with Ginny Lindsay, an experienced therapist.